Successful married life is the main prize, a great wedding is just a bonus

A wedding can be the happiest and the most expensive event in your life, or it can be a one-day event which can be your happiest without creating huge financial obligations, because at the end of the day, we all hope for a successful married life, not a fabulous wedding day. For those who have achieved both congratulations.

A friend who is getting married this December asks me about budgeting for his wedding.  As they plan for a fabulous wedding day, she thinks their savings are not enough.

While the fad is to have extravagant wedding, I told her she doesn’t have to spend too much money for a one day event, instead invest for a “together forever” as a couple for life. For couples with plenty of money, a celebrity-like wedding is not a problem.  But for others, a wedding day usually brings financial burden to the couple and their families.

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Simple and solemn wedding celebration is a great option for couples who are getting married. I believe the couple should spend their few months before the wedding planning for the first six months of their life together, and the coming days thereafter; and not only focus their time and money on that one big day.

A colleague from overseas shared me his story about how extravagant his wedding was. He really spent so much time preparing for his wedding. He used all of his savings, applied for a loan, and sold some properties for a special wedding day. A couple of years after, he spent only a few hours signing a divorce paper and pay only about a hundred dirhams (about Php1200).  He is left with no money and no wife.

We’ll that story is not far from what is happening in the Philippines. The current trend in the country is to spend too much for wedding events, hire the best coordinators, photographers and videographers, catering services, popular venues, etc. It all boil down to spending your savings, some up to the extent of mortgaging or selling properties just to meet what the current society calls like a “celebrity” wedding, the one’s like that of the showbiz people, not to mention the celebrity-like wedding proposals.

While my friend’s story ended with a fast and less expensive divorce procedure, married couple in the Philippines has to experience a long process, court proceedings, and spend huge amount of money for annulment to finally say “yes I am free”.

Well, everybody wants a great wedding and a successful married life that doesn’t end with a divorce or annulment. I think a successful married life is the main prize and a great wedding is just a bonus. It’s not the other way around.